Ashfina

When the words can be blatantly spoken.

Prior to Presidential Election


Today! The crucial day has come! Can’t wait to go to the polls for the better Indonesia. Salam  dua jari! 

Preference, Support, and Vote #2

Regardless of our desires about whom to vote, it is our privilege to decide based on our heart and mind assessment. No need to feel so righteous with voting the candidate we think the best. No need to be sentimental towards other people’s preference. Every body must have beliefs with their very own preference.

However, I personally see, deem, view, based on surveys I did like asking friends and neighbors and based on my personal analysis from both printed and electronic media that highlight this phenomenal candidate and hopefully future president of Republic of Indonesia long before the presidential election alone. This governor has been renowned for his ‘blusukan’, homeliness, sudden inspection at political districts, KJP (Jakarta Smart Card), and KJS (Jakarta Healthy Card). It’s all real, it all happened. Most importantly, I can feel what he’s done.

I vote for him for what he has done, for his vision and mission, for his commitment to better Indonesia. He never solves problem with repressive actions. He upholds diversity, tolerance, human rights, prosperity, democracy, honesty, and all. He is the one who shows to me how important the transparency between government and people. He is the one who convinces me that not all governments are bad. This candidate doesn’t want to make any disputes between government and their people. That is why he always uses dialog or simply I say ‘peace’ way as means to overcome  the problems he has faced during his reigns in Jakarta and Solo and hopefully Indonesia.

Now, see the power of his peace or persuasive way as means to overcome the problem in Jakarta. Waduk Pluit, Tanah Abang, and bureaucracy for instance. They’re all very cool and clean now. That is a form of his wills to better and be passionate to work honestly. But what we have to respect and appreciate the most is his ideas and initiatives that not all people have and want to. This candidate want to embrace all people, ethnic groups, religions, and all diversities from Sabang to Merauke to be united.

This is my first time to vote. I don’t want my vote to be in vain and vote the wrong candidate. I also don’t want to be subjective in voting. I want to vote objectively. That’s why I did analysis from many sources. This time presidential election is very crucial. It determines Indonesian people’s lives within five years ahead and the betterment of Indonesia.

Anyways, this is not the time to hear issues then believe in or be responsive to them. This is the time for us all to be insightful and critical at acknowledging the candidates who are capable of leading Indonesia to betterment.

The greatest part of him at today presidential election is I think he is actually who enlivens current democracy party. Without him, it will be ordinary. That is why now we can see people who were apathetic and skeptic now turn out to be on fire to give their vote for the better Indonesia.

And oh! My vote also proves that my vote is objective since I never heard of issues and black campaign happening currently towards him. Again, I vote for him based on analysis, research, and performance during his reigns.

You will win, Pak Jokowi-JK in July 9th 2014.

 

Salam perdamaian, salam dua jari

That Good One

It’s everybody, I mean. Everything everybody does is so — I don’t know — not wrong, or even mean, or even stupid necessarily. But just so tiny and meaningless and — sad-making. And the worst part is, if you go bohemian or something crazy like that, you’re conforming just as much only in a different way.

—J.D.Salinger — Franny and Zooey

Renaissance for Triumphs

I’ve missed my figurative illogical words! Finally I write again after being in the throes of doing things-that-soon-will-be-righteously-rewarded. It has almost been a year I haven’t written something on this blog intentionally as I busied myself with all those preparations thingy.

I always hanker for writing and pouring down my thoughts on blog but my intention to do the things-that-soon-will-be-righteously-rewarded didn’t let my time be wasted in vain. Now, I am officially free notwithstanding that I still have a burden to wait for something I have expected and waited for such a long time. I really hope it will be a triumph.

Anyway, the case point is I am solely able to write. Again.

It’s going to be a sort of long blog. I am pouring down every letter of my thoughts. As the title “Renaissance” and “Triumphs” written above, both words are very crucial for me currently. Although renaissance literally has a meaning, for me, now, it is an equivocal word. It has many meanings to interpret. It can be about the time, me, life, and “war”. This year is not merely a year. Expectations and dreams are all one. Also, things I want to reach undoubtedly get more palpable.

Two of renaissance meanings for me here are that I can control myself to be more unruffled so that I can’t get easily panicked and finally find my passion to ensure myself that what I am passionate about will bring happiness solely to life. And for the triumphs, it’s sort of complicated but the essence is get the best result.

Undergoing the gap year, seeing my friends already having their college life or coincidentally meeting them up somewhere is a painful experience to be honest, yet motivating me to be better too. I am always sad every time I remember them. I can’t conceal that feeling. Remorse and regret are two absolute things that had filled my day. (But it’s not really every day).

I still remember clearly not long ago at this very time (currently 2 AM) I used to waking up at this crack of dawn to do “the important things”, trudged out of my room with half-closed eyes, and forced myself to be fresh to absorb the materials I need to understand. I have ever stayed up all night long on the weekend as I wanted my six hours to be useful (well it happened when I was still a civil engineering student). Gladly, not long after I (read: mom) decided to quit from college, I didn’t have to do that crazy routines or I’d be going crazy in real life.

The encouragement and spirit I have always make me try to better myself each day, always make me chin up notwithstanding that the ups and downs or dismissive behaviors from few people oftentimes undermined me, but they didn’t turn me down.

Anyway, I haven’t had nice mood to tweet or check social media to look around for two years. I too enjoyed my time doing it so that there lies a stance or exaggeratedly “a consensus” to myself that I won’t tweet or make updates on social media  that can trigger my friends to comment and ask my current condition. I just want them to see me when I have achieved my dreams.

I have made myself to be self willed. You may have to know that being determined to stand on your stance without listening to what people around you say of you ain’t easy one to do. Few or most people may judge me from many perspective. Few may say that I am not capable because my dreams are too high or I am not well skilled and so forth.

Yet, people don’t understand. I have to be helpless to clarify the truth they don’t know. Because I can’t force them to understand my life even though I know that they might be wrong, can I?

To be honest, I want all that I do to end happily and immediately. I have been so exhausted and bored and sad. However, aside of all those struggle time and precious experiences that truly amazingly are remarkable, now I can only keep on praying for the best result. I still always make myself unruffled and stay positive or optimistic towards what’s going to happen within two or three weeks ahead.

2013 Ends with a Portentous Conclusion

Apparently, I closed 2013 with an amazing conclusion. In the end of the year I had a truly awesome experience I won’t ever forget in life. It was on 27th of December, the Speak! Magazine’s Deputy Editor, Natasha Ishak mailed me to tell that I passed through the first cut of Speaker! Competition. I was a little bit flabbergasted with the news as I don’t really think it’s my best essay I can write (you may have to know that I am a world class procrastinator to put off writing essay till the deadline comes eventhough I am so in love with it. But basically, I put off doing things for reason. Looking for a good topic to write about). Case point: I am officially invited to come to the Jakarta Post office for an interview. If I make through this cut too, I will definitely walk with a big smile on face to final round. 

Seriously, I have never expected to pass this cut. I really wanted to join this competition so bad but I put a small expectation to pass this. I feel a little bit proud of myself since this is an amazing and awesome achievement I have got so far. It may probably be a stepping stone to my success. Speaking of the essay competition, I wrote a moral-themed essay. I chose moral instead education as the main topic simply because basically I am concerned about three things I consider very crucial for the world. They are education, moral, and environment. And… In my perspective, I see moral places the first layer of the education meaning that it is the basic platform of building a good education.

Another reason why I chose moral as the topic of my essay because moral has been whirring in my head for three years when I was in high school until now after I graduated. I just feel like I have seen a lot of civilization there, where I saw some of my friends unbelievably turned either into a wild person from nice one or bad person from good one. When I also saw unfairness and things that could not be morally justified happened. Moreover, when they made a big movement which I think so immoral to do. They just make me so concerned about the situation that youth have to face nowadays. As I don’t see current youth can’t protect themselves from negativity.  

Then, I am just always sad every time I switch on the TV I saw loads of children still can’t get proper education while the government without feeling guilty, they corrupted the people’s money. They have to pass a broken bridge which a river is underneath and can endanger their life. They have to study in a-truly-not-qualified-to-occupy broken room that sometimes it can collapse and kill the people in it. Those things always move my heart to do something and sometimes make me so annoyed all this time with the government. Where are they? The children out there are genuinely in need of our help. They should give their hands to overcome all of this problems. Because education is an important thing to develop a nation!

Indonesia always wants betterment. So education and moral have to be fixed first before making a movement. Moral is the foundation, the basic education that they should obtain. Education is the root of everything. Everything comes from education. 

Okay, if I continue telling the reasons, I am gonna be so on fire that can infuriate me. Back to the main topic that I was invited for an interview. So I came to their office yesterday. It’s geographically located in central Jakarta and yeah in a very long distance with my house. my first impression when I arrived: This is cool. The paper and magazine I always love to read invite me to come. I am an important guest. And I am standing  in front of its office. Not a high building kinda small, but it’s so cool for an office. I am so grateful that I wasn’t really late because when I stepped in and asked to receptionist, she told me the speaker finalists went to the first floor. I wasn’t in rush to catch them up and be the first for the interview. I just don’t want to put a high expectation for this. I just think everything will go smoothly if I don’t hope. 

I met her, the one I always read her name in the magazine. Kak Natasha Ishak. The deputy editor. She is so welcoming for real. She shook my hand and gave me a form to fill out. I also met the three contestants there. They’re all chick. And two of them are still junior. I actually didn’t take a long time to fill out the form as I am always interested in filling out such paper. 

I came as the last person for an interview. And when I got in to their office room, I was so shocked that the people interviewed me was not only kak Natasha, but also Bruce Edmond. I don’t know what position he sits in, but I am just shock. I was brought back to some years ago when I was in high school. Perhaps when I was in eleventh grade, somehow I follow him because I did have a habit of looking foreigners to follow what they talked on twitter for improving my English purpose. I still remember he’s apparently in love with my country and his Indonesian is good. I mentioned him and he replied me. OMG, he is an important one in real life, huh?

We shook our hands and here we go, they interviewed me. They asked me based on the form I have filled out. It didn’t take a long time for me to respond every single question that they gave to me. I sometimes made a joke when they asked me about the people I look up to. They also gave me some advice on the essay I made that it should be more improved. They told me that if I make through it to the final round, then I will have to be well prepared with the stuff. I am gonna present a presentation. They said I have to be more clear to things I want to make for the better. Most importantly, they are truly welcoming. I still wanna laugh when Bruce felt confused with the other person I look up to, Miley. And what made me a bit confidence is that he said he’s interested in me and I wanna see me better. 

Well, it ain’t bad at all. But if I make it through too, then first, I am gonna be shocked. Second, I will panic. Third, I will prepare everything. Fourth, I don’t want to put a great expectation. But… I have to still wait up for the result. But if I don’t make it through, that’s okay. This is a great achievement so far for the one who always procrastinate to write an important essay. I can come along again next year when I am in college and ready to make a better essay. I still have loads of chances. 

2013, you do end with a portentous conclusion. 

 

The Sacred One I Love Will Remain Alive

School failed me and I failed the school. It bored me. The teachers behaved like Feldbewel (sergeants). I wanted to learn what I wanted to know, but they wanted me to learn for the exam.

What I hated most was the competitive system there, and especially sports. Because of this, I wasn’t worth anything, and several times they suggested I leave.

This was a Catholic School in Munich. I felt my thirst for knowledge was being strangled by my teachers; grades were their only measurement. How can teacher understand youth with such a system? From the age of twelve I began to suspect authority and distrust teachers.

It’s pretty the same with what I had been through in my life. The difference only comes when he had no trust anymore to his teachers. Then after I read this quote, I do believe that the grades I got in high school doesn’t represent and most importantly measure my intellectualism, potency, and capability.

A Broken Clipboard

I believe everybody in this whole universe has their very own thing. Sometimes, thing we never expected to be special eventually will be special. The same thing happens to me now. My clipboard was broken a weak ago. So what? Yes, it may probably sound very not important for most people. But as I have said in advance, a little we-never-expected thing can probably be your special thing if it is full of memories. It was broken by my youngest sister. She is almost 9 years old and knows nothing.

I was done with my first entrance test tryout. I was so exhausted and barely did a thing. I just threw my bag, including my clipboard to every place I like in my house. The following morning I  found out my loveliest clipboard broken. It had been so fragile so if any hard thing touches it, it can endanger its life. Thing happened so fast unexpectedly. Many would think, “So what if your clipboard is broken? You can buy a new one. You don’t need to be a CEO of a company to have one.” I agree that it’s affordable. Very affordable. But what saddens me is the memories in it. I have had and used it for four years almost five years perhaps. I can still clearly remember the struggle I had to buy it. I was in senior year at Junior High  School.

My mom had bought me a lot of clipboards and she would be so mad if I asked her to buy me  new one every time I wreck it. So in order not to make her mad at met again, I intended to buy new one immediately. I was in ninth grade where many tryouts pilled up and exams awaited ahead. I went home by walk while my friends took the public transportation.  I did it all only to save up. With a place face and innocent look, I always did the same thing ever day to go home after school. By walk. I never thought what people thought of, what comment they gave to me. Till the day came, I could finally buy the new one. I couldn’t believe I had my first clipboard bought all by myself. White-colored clipboard was my perfect color at that time. I promised since then not to wreck it. Many unforgettable days I had spent with my clipboard. It had been my life history witness.

Yes, for me honestly my clipboard was my most honest friend that witnessed every thing I do in life. It witnessed when I got 37.35 score for national examination in Junior High School. When every semester I had to exams and I always used it. It’s like a living thing for me. It shouldn’t be called ‘it’. It should have name just like human being. I don’t care if it’s overrated but it has been with me for almost five years. I intended to carve my history with it next year when I will take second SBMPTN Entrance Test. Now it’s broken. It’s passed away. Meaning I should have new one. Leave it and throw it into a bin.  It’s torn apart into two sides unevenly. I would do anything to have it back to me. If I could go back to place it in a proper place, I would’ve done that.

I regret. I do regret. The memories in it are so many to be just thrown away into a bin. I thought I am going to college, so my time with it will be very limited since in college the tests are essay and not multiple choices like in high school that need clipboard to darken our answers on answer sheet. Memories in 34 (High School), 131 (Junior High School) and entrance test are so hard to get over. If you have a special thing, you had better put it away from people. Do not ever let anyone touch or even reach it then play it. If it’s special, put it somewhere that only you that know exactly. Don’t evet let yourself down to regret things that won’t be back.