But an accurate definition of the self is impossible. You are more than you realize, more than you can define. And the more time you spend trying to nail down the definition, the less time you spend living right now. Your past is not your identity. You, living now, is your identity.
It’s everybody, I mean. Everything everybody does is so — I don’t know — not wrong, or even mean, or even stupid necessarily. But just so tiny and meaningless and — sad-making. And the worst part is, if you go bohemian or something crazy like that, you’re conforming just as much only in a different way.
School failed me and I failed the school. It bored me. The teachers behaved like Feldbewel (sergeants). I wanted to learn what I wanted to know, but they wanted me to learn for the exam.
What I hated most was the competitive system there, and especially sports. Because of this, I wasn’t worth anything, and several times they suggested I leave.
This was a Catholic School in Munich. I felt my thirst for knowledge was being strangled by my teachers; grades were their only measurement. How can teacher understand youth with such a system? From the age of twelve I began to suspect authority and distrust teachers.
It’s pretty the same with what I had been through in my life. The difference only comes when he had no trust anymore to his teachers. Then after I read this quote, I do believe that the grades I got in high school doesn’t represent and most importantly measure my intellectualism, potency, and capability.